Le ICE BEAST Cometh

Iron Man 2 Trailer = METAL!

2009-12-16T20:20:00.000-06:00

Best Album Cover Ever: Part 1

2009-11-25T22:25:00.001-06:00

There's no point in arguing.

Re: Kanye, Taylor Swift, the VMAs

2009-09-14T00:27:00.003-05:00

HEY KANYE, 808S AND HEARTBREAK WAS WHINY EMO GARBAGE.

It's no secret that this is a Taylor Swift fan site disguised as a metal blog. Poor form, West. You really need to stop doing this.

Taylor's winning video:

Meanwhile, the country music world is reeling, e.g., this.

It's been a long, hard road, Kanye. Don't undo all of the good T-Pain has done in uniting the communities.

Re: previous post - get it?

2009-09-13T00:35:00.003-05:00

The Beast is back. In black. Because black is metal. It's been a while, so I have this to say about metal:

The new Megadeth single rips. The video is terrible. MMA is cool in theory, but the whole scene attached to it completely ruins it. Like emotions. They seem like a good idea. But emo? Thanks for making it never OK to be sad about anything, emo kids.

And about non-metal, I have this to say. Brace yourself... The new Selena Gomez (& the Scene) song is THE. BEST. SONG. EVER. Well, it's at least the best chorus I've ever heard in my entire life. Bold words for a bold song. There's also a really great breakdown.

2009-09-13T00:32:00.000-05:00

New-ish Darkest Hour

2009-07-10T03:35:00.003-05:00

Here's some metal to balance out the post below. This is the first track off of the new Darkest Hour album.

At this point, this is probably the only way to start a melodeath album. You gotta have the straight double kick and snare fills with low chug/octave buildup for the first few bars. Then you can bring in your first verse with the offbeat snare. This album is so much better than their last one, in my opinion. They basically just shred hard for half an hour. But it's nice and melodic without diving into the metalcore deep end. Very solid. Check out the live performance below.

Thanks, Metal Injection. You're a peach. A PEACH!

Under-Appreciated Song of the Day: The Emperor's New Clothes

2009-07-10T03:02:00.006-05:00

I don't know what this song is about. It's probably about something she thought was important. It's probably on Wikipedia, but I'm not going to look. I do know that Sinead O'Connor was actually attractive and chose to shave her head so she'd look like a dude. I also know that she was pretty nuts (beyond the shaving) and did things like rip up pictures of the Pope and then became a priest. Whatever. Bottom line: this song is the catchiest thing she ever did, and it is probably in the Top 5,000 Catchiest Songs Ever.

Sinead O'Connor - The Emperor's New Clothes

Check out those dance moves!

Benea Reach = BEST BAND EVER

2009-07-08T02:09:00.003-05:00

Holy crap. These dudes rip. They're kinda Textures-y. Textures is also the best band ever. Check out the video below.

Benea Reach - New Waters

See, first it starts out in a fairly standard manner. You're like, "Oh, is this death metal or something?" But then, about 36 seconds in, they punch you right in the mouth with this big, soaringly melodic hook. Then they rip your liver out again. It's GREAT. So, Benea Reach, if you read this, please contact me and send me some copies of your albums so I can do a proper review. It's a guaranteed 5/5 Rick Rosses.

Taylor Swift x Def Leppard

2009-06-18T01:51:00.004-05:00

If you haven't seen this yet, you're missing out. You also probably don't watch CMT. Neither did I until last night.

I love Taylor Swift. She's the top selling artist across all genres right now, so deal with it. Album sales = I'm not wrong. Plus, Taylor has really good metal hair. Vince Neil would've (present tense, too) killed for that hair. And this is my favourite Def Leppard song. I actually don't like the chorus at all - I think it ruins the song. But the way they drop that 2nd guitar/bass chug in after the intro is pure genius! Nice work, Mutt Lange. Too bad you couldn't make things work with Shania.

When you look like this:

And you're married to this:

You don't cheat with this:

I guarantee Mutt's responsible for the sissy chorus in that song. He's clearly an idiot and likes crappy stuff better than cool stuff.

The MetalSucks List: Most Entertaining Comments of the Year!

2009-06-18T00:42:00.005-05:00

MetalSucks polled some people who know what they're talking about and some people who are pure idiota to come up with a list of the 21 best albums of the 2000s. So far, roughly half of it is pure crap or meh.

#21: Slipknot - Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses = NO! WRONG! More like Slipnotagoodband. Get it?
#20: Shadows Fall - The War Within = Fine. Whatever. Not into it but listened to it when it came out.
#19: Mastodon - Remission = Of course but waaay too low.
#18: Lamb of God - New American Gospel = This means at least two more LOG albums will be on the list. I love groove metal as much as the next guy, but overkill much?
#17: Hatebreed - Perseverance = Not into this either, but Andrew WK did specifically request that Hatebreed be played during an in-store signing at Sonic Boom in Seattle. True story.
#16: Machinehead - The Blackening = Good pick, reasonable placement if you removed #14-15 and promised to stop putting crap on the list.
#15: Nachtmystium - Assassins: Black Meddle, Pt. 1 = Not my scene, man. Can't get into it.
#14: System of a Down - Toxicity = Lay off the reefer. I did see them live once though, and they totally ripped.

I'm pretty sure that this list will have the same problem as a lot of lists: including crap way too high up in the order. Like how the Maxim Hot 100 has Miranda Kerr at #58 and Fergie "Pees Her Pants" Ferg at #45.

Obviously System of a Down does not belong above Mastodon, Lamb of God, or Machinehead on a metal "best of...," but such is life. Moral of the story? Read the comments because people are getting really angry about the list and hurling schoolyard insults at each other, and listen to this song by Burst because it is excellent.

I luv sludge.

2009-06-05T22:18:00.005-05:00

Do you like Baroness or Torche better? Baroness on top, Torche on bottom.

LIVE

(Don't be mad at Torche for having crappier audio.)

ALBUM ART

CRUSTY DUDES

Now that you've viewed the above, vote or die. And then watch this Bison B.C. video because they rvle. Maybe harder than anyone.

That video is such a rager.

UPDATE: No more voting on things. When it's about countries, huge turnout. When it's about two stoner/sludge metal bands, everyone has a life all of a sudden.

What is this guy doing?!?!?

2009-05-24T02:03:00.003-05:00

Last time I skateboarded, it looked NOTHING like this.

Last time I skateboarded, I ALMOST landed a heelflip. ALMOST. So close...

Here's a Torche video that you've probably already seen.

2009-05-14T19:02:00.003-05:00

I know I've already seen it. No matter, it's still what the kids call "the bomb.com." I just really like Torche, so the video's going up. This song rules. And I actually really like the video, a lo-fi Where the Wild Things Are, if you will.

Torche is like .38 Special gone metal. Speaking of which...

BOOM! That. Just. Happened. Love those guys.

Time for some Dutch metal.

2009-05-13T22:45:00.004-05:00

You know what this blog is missing? Textures. I'm not sure how I've gone this long without mentioning them, but it's time to rectify that. I'm pretty sure Textures is the best band ever; they're at least the best band ever from the Netherlands. I dare you to prove me wrong. They sound like Meshuggah covering ten seconds of an Incubus song. Make sense? Check the live footy below. They sound pretty super and do brvtal x melodic really well.

Awesome pic, btw. It looks like they have a nifty new website. I wish these Euro bands would figure out a way to make their merch sitch more accommodating for me because I would totally buy a shirt right now if they weren't asking for Monopoly money.

GOJIRA x The Chariot x Car Bomb: The Recap

2009-05-11T23:13:00.002-05:00

I missed Car Bomb. They were handing out free download codes, so I'll check them out and maybe end up bummed I didn't see them.

The Chariot will likely hurt someone very soon with their on-stage antics, and it will be the bass player's fault. He looked like Zach Galifianakis. Very entertaining. Best part was the singer-to-Zach Galifianakis bass toss across the stage.

Gojira. Killed. It. They are easily the heaviest band that ever existed. Check out the video below from Metal Injection, put 50 lbs on your chest, and then you might get an idea of how brutal they were. Noticeably absent was anything off of The Link. What's that all about, guys? Can you play "Indians" next time? Merci beaucoup.

I also purchased a sweet t-shirt. What a great night! Please go see this band.

Free Mastodon video now on iTunes. Download it. NOW.

2009-05-07T16:39:00.006-05:00

Hello. Go to iTunes ➡ iTunes Store ➡ FREE ON iTunes ➡ Add Video = FREE DIVINATIONS VIDEO!!! Do it now because it will probably be gone by Tuesday. If you haven't seen it yet, -5 metal exp for you, monsieur.

Between the Buried and Me... all your base are belong to them.

2009-04-06T03:08:00.003-05:00

These guys shred so hard. The cool kids call them BTBAM. You can just call them butt rippin' riff monsters. They're proggy, they have some real soft parts (3:00 mark in the video below) which is good for non-metal folk, i.e., sissies, and they're super brutal all at the same time. Good for them.

High on Fire

2009-03-30T00:49:00.003-05:00

Here's something super metal to balance out the last post. Matt Pike is super gnarberries.

LIGHTS wins a Juno, The Beast is the best predictor of new non-metal talent.

2009-03-29T23:04:00.003-05:00

LIGHTS is so un-metal that she's almost metal. Or she's so un-metal that I'm not metal anymore for talking about her. Either way, she just won a Juno.ca for Best New Artist, and I told you she was tight way back when.

Anyway, the point is... le Beast = trvth. You can watch her newest video below. She cut/colored all of the props. Creative little lady. Super un-metal though. Work on that, LIGHTS.

Lights "Ice"

Fun with Fotoshop: Kim Kardashian Edition

2009-03-25T11:06:00.005-05:00

Oops! Someone accidentally (or intentionally?) posted an un-retouched photo of Ms. Reggie Bush on Complex(dot)com. The photo was taken down, but not before some trickster pulled the pic for comparison.

You can see that they cleaned up the cellulite, got rid of the fuzzy hairline, and made her skin lighter. It's not bad Photoshop work, but I noticed they didn't crudely paste her head onto another person's body or add any flying unicorns or anything. Let's try a little harder next time, guys. Anyone can smooth out some chubby.

(via ANIMAL)

U.N.K.L.E. - Heaven

2009-03-25T01:10:00.003-05:00

If you (a) are down with U.N.K.L.E., (b) like skateboarding, (c) think Spike Jonze is the freshness, and (d) have just under 7 minutes to spare, WATCH THIS VIDEO. It's good. Repurposed footy from the Lakai video, which is also really good. Did I mention the song is really good, too? Like, really, really good. Really.

Heaven (Fully Flared Intro Video Remix)
by UNKLE_UK

Crack the Skye will crack your face! Today!

2009-03-24T20:25:00.006-05:00

Album's out today! You should go buy it. In the meantime, in case you were wondering, here's what the album's about, straight from Brann Dailor's maw:

"There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down…there are some obstacles along the way."

Obviously.

Year Un

2009-03-24T01:07:00.004-05:00

Sit on the poley of poleys. Seriously... Paul Rudd... everywhere... nice.

Screw sharks; it's Mastodon Week!

2009-03-23T06:17:00.006-05:00

Here's what's up: Mastodon's new album, Crack the Skye, comes out this week. Now, The Beast hates the 'Space as much as the next dude, but you need to go here, and stream the full album. Do it NOW. They've got the whole thing on there before the album is even out. It's pretty good. And by "pretty good," I mean it's really, really good. They weren't joking about all of that "hard rock" business (it's a little less metal), but it will still punch your face. If you were wondering what "epic" means, listen to this album. You know, that was probably good enough to qualify as a legit review. 5 out of 5 Rick Rosses. Maybe I should change that LoG to 3.5 Ricks because this is a lot better than that. Like, by at least 1.5 Ricks.

Once you're done listening, go buy your ticket because the 'todon is going on tour! And they're playing the new album in its entirety! Now, you might ask whether that's a good thing. And honestly, no. It is not. I want to hear "Mother Puncher." But any live Mastodon is good live Mastodon, and this album is totes wicked. It'll be a good time, guaranteed. Dates (try to go to all; be like those Deadhead people except follow a not-boring band):

Apr 10: Birmingham, AL (Workplay Theater)
Apr 11: New Orleans, LA (House of Blues)
Apr 13: Lawrence, KS (Granada Theater)
Apr 14: Boulder, CO (Fox Theatre)
Apr 16: Phoenix, AZ (Martini Ranch)
Apr 18: Indio, CA (Coachella)
Apr 19: San Francisco, CA (Great American Music Hall)
Apr 21: Portland, OR (Hawthorne Theatre)
Apr 22: Seattle, WA (Neumo's)
Apr 23: Vancouver, BC (Commodore Ballroom)
Apr 24: Calgary, AB (MacEwen Ballroom)
Apr 25: Edmonton, AB (Starlite Ballroom)
Apr 26: Saskatoon, SK (The Odeon)
Apr 28: Winnipeg, MB (The Garrick)
Apr 29: Minneapolis, MN (Fine Line Music Hall)
Apr 30: Chicago, IL (Metro)
May 1: Pontiac, MI (Crofoot Ballroom)
May 2: Cleveland, OH (Beachland Ballroom)
May 4: Montreal, QC (Le National)
May 5: Toronto, ON (Opera House)
May 7: Boston, MA (House of Blues)
May 8: Philadelphia, PA (TLA)
May 9: New York, NY (Fillmore @ Irving Plaza)
May 10: Brooklyn, NY (Music Hall of Williamsburg)
May 12: Washington DC (9:30 Club)
May 13: Carbarro, NC (Cat's Cradle)
May 14: Ashville, NC (Orange Peel)
May 15: Atlanta, GA (Center Stage)

Hey, what up, brah?

2009-03-23T04:43:00.007-05:00

Wow. So much has happened since the last post. Well, actually, only two things have really happened.

First: the poll is closed, the votes are counted, mothereffin' Finlandia won the title of Best at Metal: Country, 2009. So here you go, Finland; here's your day in the sun. From the Wiki:

"1980s the first metal bands were constituted including power metal band Stratovarius (1984) inspiring greatly among other things Sonata Arctica, Stone (1985), and Amorphis (1989). In the 90s many successful modern metal bands were founded, such as Nightwish, Sonata Arctica, Children of Bodom, Ensiferum and Impaled Nazarene. Finnish modern metal has been the most sold metal music in Asian countries from 90s to nowadays, and has had a remarkable influence on loads of other modern metal bands all over the world."

Whoever wrote that sucks at writing, BTW.

Second: Gojira announced a headlining tour. Finally. Bring a change of undies because these dudes will totally Chris Brown your rear end.

5/1 Springfield, VA @ Jaxx
5/2 Worcester, MA @ Palladium
5/3 Philadelphia, PA @ The TLA
5/4 Cleveland, OH @ Peabody’s
5/6 New York, NY @ Blender Theatre
5/7 Montreal, QC @ Club Soda
5/8 Toronto, ON @ Mod Club
5/9 Detroit, MI @ Harpo’s
5/10 Chicago, IL @ Logan Square
5/11 St. Paul, MN @ Station 4
5/13 Denver, CO @ Marquis
5/14 Murray, UT @ Murray Theater
5/17 Vancouver, BC @ Richards On Richards
5/18 Seattle, WA @ El Corazon
5/19 Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre
5/21 San Francisco, CA @ Slims
5/22 Pomona, CA @ Glasshouse
5/24 Hollywood, CA @ The Key Club

(via MetalSucks)

Lamb of God - Wrath: The Review

2009-02-28T23:24:00.007-06:00

I've finally had the chance to listen to the new Lamb of God album, Wrath. Where to start... this thing is br00tal with a capital BR00. I like the production a lot better here than on Sacrament; that unnecessary sheen is gone. This thing is just face melting riff after face melting riff; no sissy choruses. That's good and bad. This is definitely a different album from Ashes of the Wake. And I honestly found myself a little bored toward the end of the album, but it was my first full listen, and I don't usually take albums in one sitting. Anyway, this is probably the most br00tal Lamb of God yet, and if that's not worth four Rick Rosses out of five, I don't know what is.

Update: After listening to Mastodon's Crack the Skye, I'm downgrading this album to 3.5 Rick Rosses. I am, however, too lazy to make a new graphic (it's harder than you think), so the 4 Ricks will remain.

Protest the Hero. On tour. Sweet.

2009-02-27T15:18:00.006-06:00

MetalSucks just announced the upcoming Protest the Hero tour, sponsored by them. Nice job, guys. The Beast sponsors this tour, too. Not monetarily but in spirit. Protest the Hero totally kicks faces. Check out the below video if you're not familiar.

Harmony - courtesy of Boston.

2009-02-26T22:03:00.007-06:00

In 1976, a band named Boston forever changed the face of music with the invention of harmony (vocal harmony in particular). Harmony is defined as "the simultaneous combination of tones, esp. when blended into chords pleasing to the ear." You might think that harmony existed prior to 1976, but you would be mistaken. I have provided the video below of "Long Time" as a demonstration of the aural explosion that this phenomenon can produce.

Boston · Long Time

In summary, harmony, or the sound of bearded men with voices like angels singing together, was invented by Boston in 1976, and we have been benefitting ever since.

New Lamb of God this week. Are you excited?

2009-02-22T22:00:00.003-06:00

Lamb of God's new album is out this week. As one of the only things American metal has going for it, this is a big deal. But is it any good? I don't know. The album's not out yet. It's streaming on MySpace, but that's just not how I party. There is, however, this video...

Set To Fail

and it's pretty tasty. I've only read one review so far, and it sounds like it's maybe not as good as it should be but still totally brvtal. I like Lamb of God, so I will probably like Wrath. Some people don't like them. One of the lads at Metal Inquisition said "[t]hey were good when they were called Burn the Priest,... [b]ut now they are for people with shaved heads, goatees, and Fox Racing shirts, and I am not down with that sickness." To each his own. At least they're not Slipknot.

Question of the Day?

2009-02-17T21:45:00.003-06:00

Does beating/biting Rihanna make this no longer the hottest auto-tuned song ever?

Chris Brown - New Music - More Music Videos

I'll start. No. It is still the hottest. Wrigley disagrees. Discuss.

Follow up question: Chris Brown is currently the 6th most popular artist on mtv.com; Rihanna is the 7th most popular. If she had won the battle, would those positions be reversed?

Coraline 3D

2009-02-17T14:29:00.007-06:00

Coraline is out, and it is totally bitchin'.

I don't want to spoil it for you, but I'm going to anyway... Coraline's a man. Even though you now know the surprise plot twist, you should still go see this movie. I saw it in 3D, and that is better than 2D.

Anxiously awaiting my pair...

The Saturdays Just Can't Get Enough (and neither can I!)

2009-02-17T13:52:00.003-06:00

The Saturdays recently released a rather cheeky version and video of Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough."

I've been listening to a lot of Depeche Mode lately, so I can confidently say that this is exactly how they would've made the song if they'd thought of it first.

Time to vote: Who's better at metal?!

2009-02-10T20:31:00.011-06:00

It's that time again for the first time ever... vote for your favorite metal homeland!!! Voting is already underway and it looks like Finland is off to a bit of a head start. Which Finnish bands are really floating your boat? Children of Bodom? Sonata Arctica? Probably Korpiklaani, and I can't say I blame you.

But don't count the Swedes out yet. They did give us Gothenburg.

No love yet for Norway, birthplace of blackness.

The UK gave us DragonForce, for better or worse, but it is also home to the factory where Tony Iommi lost the tips of his fingers, causing him to tune down and be brutaler than anyone had ever been. Oh yeah, there's this guy, too.

And then there's the good ol' United States. So much to apologize for. But new albums coming from Mastodon and Lamb of God in the very near future? Yes, please!

Hell is obvious (because it's totally kvlt), and any votes for "Other" will be presumed to be for France's Gojira.

Feel free to post a comment explaining your vote. In fact, please do. Remember: there is no wrong answer, but there is a right answer, so you better not get it wrong! Le Frosty Beast will be sending the winning country a mental care package of warm fuzzies and smiles. And sorry about the megapost, but an informed voter is better than the alternative. Don't forget to check back hourly to watch the action! Toodles.

Norther wear their own shirts or no shirts at all.

2009-02-09T23:43:00.006-06:00

Lest le blog be too unmetal... Norther. These dudes come from Finland. They're sort of like Children of Bodom, I guess, but with way less eyeliner.

Also, editorial note, check out the YouTube embedding options I just discovered. Because pink is metal.

LIGHTS

2009-02-09T22:51:00.002-06:00

LIGHTS - February Air official music video

This is LIGHTS. All caps. This video is hilarious and amazing. Galactic pop.

New feature: CORNIFY!

2009-02-05T21:41:00.003-06:00

Hello. See that button over there on the right? Click it. A lot. Make beautiful images. See below for an example. This is why Al Gore invented the interwebs. Enjoy.

Refresh your browser to cleanse the canvas.

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory

2009-02-02T14:16:00.005-06:00

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory - MTV Shows

This is already the best show ever on the tele. Premiers Sunday. DVR it.

Metal Monday > Casual Friday

2009-01-31T22:00:00.004-06:00

That's pretty much how I feel about Meshuggah, too. I really don't understand why some people don't like them. They sound like robots playing metal. Br00tal robots.

Girls Aloud

2009-01-31T21:25:00.005-06:00

This blog is about metal. Except when it's not. Right now it's about Girls Aloud.

I guess this is a new video, but I have no idea because I don't live in the UK. It's a Wideboys remix because embedding on the original is disabled. I think I've made my feelings about this clear in the past - it's dumb. Nadine Coyle is definitely hot, so I wonder how she feels about not being the hot one since Cheryl Cole is in the group. CAT. FIGHT.

Update: This is now probably my favourite song ever written. This specific remix. It's fire.

Lil Wayne is a gangsta and gangstas don't ask questions.

2009-01-31T13:27:00.005-06:00

"I'm a rapper. That's who I am, Miss Katie, and I am a gangster, and I do what I want."

Don't mess with Weezy.

BOOM! Bacon Explosion.

2009-01-29T13:13:00.006-06:00

Eat this.

Photo: Don Ipock for The New York Times

Bacon-wrapped sausage stuffed with bacon. 1 roll = 5,000 calories, 500 grams of fat. Don't be a wuss. Here's the website: http://www.bbqaddicts.com/. Recipe link looks broken; must be that NYT traffic. So here's how I assume you make it: take some sausage, stuff it with bacon, wrap it with bacon, dip it in butter, grill it, stick it on your ass.

Update: Recipe link works now. Check it out because it's awesome, but I stand by the accuracy of my assessment.

Sound of Arrows = BEST GROUP EVER!

2009-01-25T18:33:00.003-06:00

If you don't like this, your soul is out of order.

The Sound of Arrows - M.A.G.I.C. (Mini-video) from The Sound of Arrows on Vimeo.

Download it here! (Probably gonna want to right-click, download linked file)

Little Boots.

2009-01-23T02:14:00.002-06:00

Download the current Fader and read about Little Boots? Sure. Go to her website and get that free download, too. Give us... us free!

Isn't this just super?

2008-10-15T12:05:00.003-05:00

Good ol' GWB just signed the PRO-IP Act, an anti-piracy law aimed at "protect[ing] American innovation." What does this mean for you? Oh, nothing really. But what it does mean for all of those terrorists using the internets to download the new Miley Cyrus is that if there's one super illegally downloaded mp3 on your computer, the government gets to keep your computer. What if someone else downloads something with your computer? Are you mental? Of course they're still taking it. Rick Cotton, the insanely realistic general counsel for NBC Universal, said the bill would help them combat counterfeiting and piracy by organized crime. The bill is "not about teenagers." Right. Because if Al Capone were still alive, he'd be holed up in his mom's basement downloading Pirates of the Caribbean on KaZaa. Go here for the grown up version, and here for the infant (i.e., fun) version.

"Hot n Cold"

2008-10-15T01:35:00.006-05:00

This is the video for Katy Perry's single "Hot n Cold," and it's actually pretty good...

Hot N Cold

except for the ridiculous product placement. 15 close-ups of the Diesel sunglasses? WTF? And yet somehow the Nokia doesn't bother me one bit. It's no secret that this is my favourite record off the album (just because you didn't know that doesn't make it a secret), so hopefully this doesn't see as much airtime as "I Kissed a Girl"; I'd hate to have to take it off of my iPod.

Apple Notebook Event, 14.10.08, 12:00 PM CST

2008-10-13T23:36:00.010-05:00

The only benefit to living in a fly-over state is that live events are not too early, not too late, but juuuust right. Lots of crazy rumors flying around: all-aluminum bodies (definitely), NVIDIA graphics (almost definitely, 2 chips in the MBPs and 1 in the MBs seems reasonable), new manufacturing process utilizing lasers to cut the chassis from a single "brick" of aluminum (whoa!), an $899 SKU (ZOMG!), and possibly no MBs or 17" MBP (WTF?!). Only time will tell.

UPDATE: Basically everything was right except Steve DID intro new MBs. But that was obvious. Also added to the lineup was the new 24" Cinema Display. Overall, a very strong showing at 1 Infinite Loop.

3D TR2N

2008-10-08T13:02:00.004-05:00

No vowels necessary. This is awesome.

According to /Film, who heard it somewhere else, the TRON sequel will be shot in stereoscopic 3D. Too bad you'll have to wait 2 more years for it. Should be almost as good as that Get Smart sequel Warner Bros. is developing.

You heard it here second, new MacBooks on Oct. 14.

2008-10-06T21:31:00.004-05:00

Alright, so anyone who's not a moron knows new MacBooks are coming. What you may not know is that they are rumored to be coming with ... wait for it ... NVIDIA chips!!!11!!ZOMG!!

Will they play Crysis? Who cares as long as they can still run Desktop Keeley.

Common + Pharrell = Epilepsy

2008-10-06T17:56:00.006-05:00

Common traded in his backpack for some glow sticks and a robot.

New-ish Trivium?

2008-10-03T01:30:00.005-05:00

I can really go either way with Trivium. I liked them when their first album came out. Then I realized there was a little too much singing, and I might as well listen to Hawthorne Heights. Well, this is not bad.

Maybe chicks will like it? (They won't, at least not attractive ones.) I guess what you can really take from this is that this is what Metallica might sound like if they didn't go getting all that sand in their vaginas back in the '90s.

NEW AMON AMARTH!

2008-09-30T00:49:00.002-05:00

Oh man. This is just the best video ever.

Amon Amarth "Twilight Of The Thunder God"

I really don't need to say anything more about it. Watch for the throat slit.

Fun with Fotoshop!

2008-09-24T00:30:00.006-05:00

This is the first of many installments in my Fun with Fotoshop feature.

Premier: Sufjan avec Casey. Très superbe, non?

Airbourne!

2008-09-14T21:49:00.004-05:00

This is the most metal non-metal video ever.

Lemmy's in it, I counted at least 50 Marshall full stacks, and I can't really understand what the singer is saying. If that's not metal non-metal, well, agree to disagree.

Futbol

2008-09-05T11:55:00.003-05:00

Here's a home vid of me playing soccer.

Aren't I sick?

Stop buyin' those Macs.

2008-08-23T13:01:00.005-05:00

Check this Mac Buyer's Guide; know where your desired item is at in its life cycle. Too many kids buying Apple hardware right before a refresh. By now, everyone should know that all Mac laptops are seeing a refresh in the fall. Is that free iPod for back to school worth it? Of course not. Don't be an idiot. What's really got me twitchy is the rumored iPod Nano refresh.

This could of course be totally fake, but it falls in line with previous rumors about a bigger screen. Will it be touch screen? Maybe?? I don't care because I got one last year, and I will not be upgrading. Suck it, Jobs.

UPDATE: This was clearly not fake and Le ICE BEAST Cometh is officially the most official source for unofficial Apple announcements...OFFICIAL!

Free Downlizzle

2008-08-23T01:57:00.003-05:00

The Cool Kids - Delivery Man

Part of some new deal Mountain Dew is doin', providing free muzak. Niiiice. Get it here. Don't sleep on it though. Who knows how long before they put something else up that suuuucks.

R.I.P. Sho'Nuff

2008-08-22T23:11:00.005-05:00

The world just got a little less badder. The Shogun of Harlem, Sho'Nuff, passed away. He was 56. You're lucky; he would've kicked your ass!

Hangin' with the Cool Kids.

2008-08-20T20:55:00.003-05:00

Freestylin' in foggy London town. Check it.

Sony BMG sucks.

2008-08-14T16:23:00.003-05:00

Here's an interesting video. Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman take you shopping for their favorite CDs and DVDs. Turns out neither of them have listened to an album or watched a movie for at least the past 10 years.

Also, I was going to post Phantom Planet - California, but Sony disabled embedding. Nice one, jerks. I know, I'm really cutting into your revenue stream. Maybe I'll just go download it for free. Let me explain something to you. Borders is getting free advertising on my blog because they allowed me to embed a video with their little watermark. Guess what? Now I will go buy a book at Borders instead of Barnes and Noble. See how that works?

Everyone Nose Remix

2008-08-13T17:12:00.004-05:00

KANYE. PHARELL. LUPE. PUSHA-T.

Most gangsta video game I've ever seen.

Seattle!

2008-08-13T17:00:00.003-05:00

Yo! I'm in Seattle! I went to the zoo. Check it out; it's a bear.

Learn how to play the Deththeme from Brendon Small!

2008-08-06T02:33:00.006-05:00

He's not gonna hold your hand like you're a baby. Look at his fingers and figure it out.

Don't get all cocky and stuff. Nobody cares.

Hail to Fire

2008-08-06T02:09:00.004-05:00

I love Mastodon. They are way brutal live. This song is also my favourite from Call of the Mastodon, so I'm glad these young Scottish lads chose it for their school video editing project. Braveheart would've loved Mastodon for sure.

Let Dr. Steve Brule teach you about wine.

2008-08-03T22:52:00.003-05:00

Not metal.

2008-08-03T22:33:00.003-05:00

So I love metal. Like, a lot, you know? But I like other things, too. This movie looks neato. If it turns out to not be, I will edit this post.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Silly Swedes.

2008-08-03T21:54:00.004-05:00

This is Watain. They are way scary. They totally love Satan. HOWEVER, these dudes are going on tour and have some very hilarious things to say about it. From their website (Dear Watain, if you don't want me to use your image or info, feel free to have the least scary member of your band contact me):

AMERICAN ASSAULT
Hark in woe, infidels! One and a half year after their triumphant display of magic and death upon North American, Watain shall now return to those lands on a headliner tour. Due to the strict prohibitions of anything Satanic and Criminal passing over the border to USA, a lot of compromises had to be made on the last US tour regarding both members and stage-show. This time however, the full artillery shall be brought across the sea, in all it's terrible glory. The first date is on October 3rd and after that the wolves shall storm from Canada through USA on what shall constitute the last part of the monstrous crusade that has been the Fuck the World Tour.

Welcome back!

2008-08-03T17:53:00.005-05:00

Hi, Sophy! I'm finally updating. For your enjoyment, an undoctored Hoffmann leg burn pic.

I love shoes.

2008-03-28T22:53:00.011-05:00

I sure do enjoy Nike Dunks. I recently got a new pair.

Nike Dunk High Premium

Simple math.

2008-03-10T22:01:00.003-05:00

Old Metallica > writing trial level brief.

This will teach you how to smile.

2008-03-09T18:12:00.002-05:00

For the homies always standing slouchy, try these moves on. Stop lookin' so frumpy!

OMG!

2008-03-05T15:01:00.003-06:00

WHERE DID THE METAL GO? It went to Valhalla but has finally returned to do some more conquering and pillaging.

Santogold

2008-03-05T14:37:00.005-06:00

She's friends with M.I.A. +1. I think EA put this in a video game. -1. That makes it neutral, like Switzerland. And who doesn't love Switzerland?

Incidentally, there is a XXXChange remix of this song which makes the original sound like garbage in comparison. Put that in your melon.

XOXO

2008-03-05T11:47:00.002-06:00

Is this the most sensual video ever? Yes.

Rock of Love!

2008-03-05T11:12:00.004-06:00

Is Unskinny Bop about fat chicks? You be the judge.

Livin' on a Prayer.

2008-03-04T01:47:00.004-06:00

Here's a picture my friend Erica took of Jon le Bon Jovi playing the same acoustic guitar that I have.

I'm pretty sure that's a good thing, but I'm not positive. They've pretty much sucked post-Slippery When Wet, and the whole Richie/Heather/Denise thing was a real deal breaker. But JBJ was on Ally McBeal, and that's cool.

Neato.

2008-03-02T00:12:00.004-06:00

I saw U2 3D, and it was super kewl.

It basically was like that but in color, 3 dimensions, and Bono had a shirt on. It wasn't metal, and usually that's not OK, but I will forgive them because of the man-on-man kiss action.

A night in flavor country.

2008-03-01T01:09:00.005-06:00

I saw these dudes tonight.

It looked like Hot Topic threw up on Milwaukee. When did cigarettes come back in style? And how does AVA stand for Angels and Airwaves? Anyway, it was pretty awesome except for the little drugged-up dude in front of me who kept rubbing his face. It seemed like Tom's guitar wasn't plugged in, and he definitely forgot his Auto-Tune, but luckily, his friends are good at their instruments. I would consider taking his place if ICE BEAST wasn't so close to becoming the greatest melodenomic pop metal band ever. Incidentally, 'melodenomic' is a portmanteau genre description of my own devising, so please don't steal that.

This is what it would've looked like if you were a camera phone.

Boss Hog

2008-02-29T12:30:00.006-06:00

Today, as I was reading The Moment, I realized that while they are blogging live from Colette in Paris, I am blogging live from the Midwest. How stupid is that? So while they're hangin' out with Kanye, I'm sitting on the couch with Suzy watching Slim Thug on Cribs. His house sucks.

I want my stuff back.

2008-02-28T20:27:00.008-06:00

I believe that listening to a song should be similar to getting jump kicked in the chest.

Unless, of course, it's Aly & Aj.

Please leave.

2008-02-28T19:09:00.008-06:00

I'm not sure if this guy behind me came to the library specifically to fart. He may have just come to sleep and have 3 beverages, a wrapper, and a cup of soup on the table. Either way, I like Opeth much more than him.

Update: He spilled one of his three drinks.

Viva la France!

2008-02-28T18:25:00.004-06:00

In honor of my homeland (1/8 Nova Scotian), French metal. Gojira. They're critically acclaimed! Even those wieners at Pitchfork like them. Take note at the end; the breakdown might kill you because it is so sweet.

Mobile Memory Mouse 8000

2008-02-28T18:14:00.005-06:00

2.4 ghz, le Bleutooth, rechargeable, 1 gb flash, scratch-n-sniff. I like it. The sexiest thing about this little lady is the little case she comes with. I like to preserve technology. Rating: 5/6.

Helloween = #1!

2008-02-28T17:50:00.002-06:00

It only takes 17 seconds for this to be way better than anything ever created.

Sushi

2008-02-28T11:33:00.004-06:00

Suzy LOVES sushi. And licking herself.

The Fall of Cairo

2008-02-28T11:14:00.003-06:00

I like: skateboarding, M83, explosions

"yeah."

2008-02-28T11:00:00.003-06:00

Sweet windmill, bro.

Burned

2008-02-28T09:50:00.003-06:00

I said "what's up, dude?" to the drummer outside of El Corazon, and he totally ignored me. Pretty metal.

Vikings are rad

2008-02-28T09:46:00.002-06:00

This is basically the best thing ever. Ensiferum? Yes, please.

In the beginning, there was ICE...and BEAST(s)

2008-02-28T09:36:00.001-06:00

This is my blog, which may occasionally be a blawg. Mostly, I like metal, so there will be a lot of metal. But I like free stuff more, so I intend to draw enough circulation to attract free things that I will post about. Occasionally, this will also serve as a platform for news and praise of the namesake, ICE BEAST, which is 100% of 1/4 of the greatest seasonal prog pop band(s) to ever play metal. It's OK if you feel like the previous sentence is confusing, but your real confusion is about being confused. In actuality, you are mystified.